Sometimes Your Best is Good Enough

I began by trying to write a poem and then scrapped that because poems have never been my thing (aka it sucked beyond all reason… a chimp could have done a better job). Anyway, my life has pretty much been the same. I’ve finished my first genetics exam which I ended up with a D on….funny that the average was that too but the professor sees no problem with that. She apparently can’t do math either because I’m getting a B in the class….I’m not sure how that works and I don’t think I’m going to take anytime out of my day to draw attention to it. I’ve managed to take my second O-chem exam which I’m fairly sure I tanked. I got a B on the previous one so I guess we will all have to sit on the edge of our seats to see how that goes. 

I know I had previously (as in many months ago) mentioned that over the summer I felt as if my hometown had “healed” me, almost as if the amazing self that had set up camp in the hills had finally returned home. I had initially feared that this sense of clarity or deep inner peace would escape me once again and I would be a mindless student droid drooling and slowly causing degenerative damage to my lower back (thanks a ton back pack, I’m sure the higher education and therefore better pay check will be spent on the damage you expensive-ass book carrier have caused). I am here to tell you that, although this has and probably will continue to be the most intense semester of my life, I’ve maintained a level of happiness that I had never experienced in my hell hole of a college town before.

I really have been and plan to continue to be happy because I’m tired of being drained. I’m tired of nothing that I do being good enough for my own standards…which is why when I received that D I didn’t break down in a fit of tears like the previous version of myself would have I honestly laughed and took a second to evaluate why one exam score or one class would affect my overall life. I’m still going to eat tomorrow, I still have a home, I still have ice cream in the freezer, what else is there that is needed???

I’ve also made some neat relationships with people (mainly because we are so damn stressed out that we have no time to speak to anyone but each other). I feel as if things are looking up. Once again, I hope all is well in Cyber Land :D